The headlines about the impact of the pandemic on relationships are overwhelming and many are focused on the increase in breakups and divorces:
- Pandemic ‘pressure cooker’ is driving more couples to seek advice about separation, divorce (CBC)
- The unrelenting stress of COVID-19 has pushed some Canadian couples to counselling and divorce (Globe and Mail)
- Divorces have increased during the coronavirus pandemic and lawyers are expecting more (Global News)
- Considering a Coronavirus Divorce? You’re in Good Company (New York Times)
BUT people are also falling in love and into relationships during this pandemic.
People are re-evaluating their lives, confronting issues of mortality and purpose, craving connection, and wanting to take some control back of their quarantined conditions.
Love and desire can offer much respite in these overwhelming times. Finding “your person” or the person you have decided will be “your one” has been the reality for many during the pandemic.
Even though the world is out of control and our day-to-day movements may be limited, deciding to move in with someone can be a positive; however, there are many consequences – some of which can be legal.
So just as you have to wear masks, social distance and wash hands more often, there are some equally important protective things for you to consider before making the leap into living together.
Are you on the same page with your love?
Some things you may want to discuss in advance of moving in are:
- How will you deal with assets and property you each own before you move in together, during your relationship, and if you should part in the future?
- How will you share expenses, including items you purchase and day-to-day expenses?
- How will you deal with one of you losing your job or ability to support yourselves?
- Do you imagine sharing future property?
- Are you moving into your partner’s home that they own? If so, how will ownership and sharing expenses work?
- Are kids currently in your picture – i.e. your own kids from a previous relationship or co-parenting relationships? Might you have kids together?
- Do you each have a clear picture of each other’s finances, i.e. income, debt, and financial obligations?
- How will you make decisions together?
- How will you deal with conflict or disputes?
- What are your shared relationship values and intentions for your future?
It is good to have these conversations.
They are not always easy conversations and I know with all the difficulties and stress going on, some of these issues feel tough and too tender to approach. But it is best to have these discussions with care and kindness, sooner rather than later – eyes wide open – with love and respect.
